This part of A New Earth correlates with The Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware
Regret #5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
“Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, and choose honestly. Choose happiness.” - Bronnie Ware
“How are you?” “Just great. Couldn’t be better.” True or false?
In many cases happiness is a role people play, and behind the smiling façade, there is a great deal of pain. Depression, breakdowns and overreactions are common when happiness is covered up by a smiling exterior and brilliant white teeth, when there is denial, sometimes even to one’s self, that there is much unhappiness.
“Just fine” is a role the ego plays more commonly in America than in certain countries where being and looking miserable is almost the norm and therefore more socially acceptable.
If there is unhappiness in you, first you need to acknowledge that it is there. But don’t say, “I’m unhappy.” Unhappiness has nothing to do with who you are. Say: “There is unhappiness in me.” Then investigate it. A situation you find yourself in may have something to do with it. Action may be required to change the situation or remove yourself from it. If there is nothing you can do, face what is and say, “Well, right now, this is how it is. I can either accept it or make myself miserable.“ The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation, but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation which is always neutral, which always is as it is. There is the situation or the fact and here are my thoughts about it. Instead of making up stories, stay with the facts. For example, “I am ruined” is a story. It limits you and prevents you from taking effective action. “I have fifty cents left in my bank account” is a fact. Facing facts is always empowering. Be aware that what you think, to a large extent, creates the emotions that you feel. See the link between your thinking and your emotions, be the awareness behind them.
“Don’t seek happiness. If you seek it, you won’t find it, because seeking is the antithesis of happiness. Happiness is ever elusive, but freedom from unhappiness is attainable now, by facing what is rather than making up stories about it. Unhappiness covers up your natural state of well-being and inner peace, the source of true happiness.” -Eckhart Tolle